DiscordianStooge

I'm officially moving to blogspot because it apparently is a really crappy tool for blogging, and I'm very masochistic when it comes to writing.

I'll still be checking out my friends here, and commenting excessively on martybeckerman's LJ.

Your I'm Outta Here leader,
DS

This is a great video.

Absolutely awesome.

I've had my first banning. This assclown didn't like me pointing out that his making fun of religious nuts was weird, considering that he himself is a different kind of religious nut. To be fair, the guy doesn't let most comments he disagrees with through anyway, so being banned isn't a big deal. I just think it's funny. And my joke wasn't even dirty.

Also, I've been called humorless and illogical over at Pharyngula. Check the comments if you care. I even admitted zombies were cool, to no avail.

I'll admit to being humorless and illogical, but damned if I'll let them ignore how cool I think zombies are!

Your BRAAIIIINNNNS! leader,
DS

I've heaped a small amount of praise on kevin-m at Insomnia Report (I think I said he had the best written blog in Minnesota and that I wanted to vote for him for Congress). In case you weren't listening, here are a couple of posts that show his ability to make me laugh. One is about Milwaukee (The name “Milwaukee” comes from an ancient Algonquin word meaning “only ninety miles from Chicago”.), and the other is about two-faced cats (Will the two-faced kittens be a force for universal enlightenment and peace? Will they seize command our souls and force us into servitude and perdition even in the afterlife? Or will they be morally-neutral, like regular faced kittens?).

I am currently being backgrounded by the Minneapolis PD. If I get a job, and I catch Mr. -M red handed peeing on the sidewalk in front of a libertarian meeting, I will let him go.

Because MPD cops have more important things to deal with.

Your Insomnia leader,
DS

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

I got to vote in an endorsing convention last night. MN District 51B endorsed Tom Tillberry of Fridley to run, after Connie Bernardy decided to not run again.

He wasn't my 1st choice, but he was my second. I find his style of speaking to be stilted and vaguely creepy (he's a counselor, and he talks like one), but his issues and electability aren't in question. It was an interesting experience, and one I would do again (although the Affiliate didn't know how long it would take and got a little cranky near the end).

I also got a rash on my legs yesterday, but it happened before the caucus, so there's no post hoc, ergo propter hoc there.

On Friday I got to see Semisonic at the MN Aquatennial concert. It was their 1st show since December of '03, and it was a good one. I've never seen them live before, and am not a huge fan, but I had a great time. Those guys can play. They did Prince's "Erotic City" (one of the few Prince songs I really like), with John Munson and Dan Wilson trading lines in low and high voice, respectively.

It was a great show, and LappDogg should be pissed at the wife for not letting him come ;)

Your Funk 'Till the Dawn leader,
DS

OK.

I haven't posted in a long time, and this is just going to be a bunch of stories from the past weeks.

Also, Germany's #3. Not bad, I say!

Just a little late for the 4th. Because it's OK to desecrate American Icons if you're Christian.

Christians tried to run them out of town. But they're only atheists, so there's no problem.

Or is there? I guess the "Judeo" part of "Judeo-Christian" doesn't apply anymore?

Even soldiers who die for our country aren't allowed freedom of religion. Now, I don't care what's on my tombstone. After all, I'll be dead. And I've always seen Wiccans as a buch of chubby chicks who like to recycle (c. Adam Corolla), but apparently this guy wants a pentagram on his grave. But, those persecuted Christians might get offended, so screw him.

Scroll down a bit here to read the story of how one man was turned to Zombieism by Republicans in "What I did on my Summer Vacation." Read the rest of the stuff too, because Kevin-M has the best written blog in the state.

And if you think Keith Ellison is the worst thing to hit Minnesota since, well, something else really bad, check out Keith Ellison Exposed. Pay close attention to the rampant anti-Muslim/black sentiment in the comments. Probably coming from a persecuted Christian. I don't like Ellison that much either, but come on!

And finally, in case there aren't enough links here, check out Millard Fillmore's Bathtub who is attempting to debunk the myths of America's past. The name comes from a hoax perpetrated by H.L. Mencken (whose "The American Language" I unsucessfully just tried to read) that still appears in history pamphlets to this day. I bet there's a Trivial Pursuit question that involves Fillmore, and I bet the answer is wrong.

Next I'm going to attempt a full split over to blogger.com. I'll let you know how it goes.

Your No Symbol leader,
DS

Ever since Saturday Night Live, I've known he can do comedy.

Don't worry. I'm getting over my World Cup fever. Just a few sniffles while I follow Germany.

The U.S. got screwed. When you hit a guy's knee hard enough to take him out of the game for good, that should be a foul, not a goal. When you beat a guy on a header without pushing off, that should be a no-call, not a penalty shot. of course, I'm not a futbol expert, but as an American I get to complain. I mean, have you seen the Declaration of Independance?

In personal news, I have a clean bill of health from my insurance agent. That means lower life insurance premiums, which makes me very happy.

Still filling out forms for minneapolis. I'll hopefully know in a few weeks.

Your Dejected leader,
DS

Please keep calm. There have been troubles in the Minnesota blogosphere. It seems that Turkish Muslims have taken an interest in our little corner of the world.

DiscordianStooge is safe ... but for how long?

Your Snark leader,
DS

I've got a fever, and the only thing that can cure it is...
a USA World Cup victory.

LappDogg knows of what I speak. Of course, he follows the home squad, the Germans. But my heart lies here. Sure, I've Bohemian blood in my veins, but all I have to say to the Czech Republic is this:

Ihr koennt nach hause fahren!

The Star Spangled Banner is playing. The match is just moments away. Sure, it's soccer. But Mexico defeated Iran yesterday, Trinada and Tobago fought to an upset tie with Sweden and the U.S is ranked 5th by FIFA. I'm excited, even though I can't figure out why.

Kickoff is coming, and I'm not going to miss a minute.

Your Header leader,
DS

Why should anybody aspire to be a common man, an average man? Do you realize what it means to be average? It means you're the best of the lousiest, and the lousiest of the best. - Paul Harvey

Al Zarquawi is dead. Which is awesome, because he's a major fuckturkey. Excuse me; was a major fuckturkey. Apparently they trailed his spiritual advisor to the safe house (Stolen from Leno: "How safe are the regular houses?"). As an ardent anti-religious lefty, they'll never catch me this way. Score one for atheism!

Seriously, I hope this helps bring us closer to the end of the war. Maybe al Zarquawi was one of the smart ones. Maybe the next guy will be too dumb to avoid capture for many years. Then we can move on to the country that really needs our attention - The Netherlands! I am so sick of the Dutch and their superior soccer coaches.

Also, the HPV vaccine, and the putative end of cervical cancer, was approved by the FDA. Of course, the religious nuts who hate sex would have us not inocculate the daughters of our country from a life-threatening disease. Because they are bad people. It's that simple. If you would leave your daughter be at risk for cancer because of a misguided belief that protecting her from cancer might cause her to have sex, you're a bad person. People often deride religious sects that avoid medical help for their children for religious reasons as "cults." This now includes a good number of the religious right. I hope they enjoy their new status. Because they have once again proven that, to them, a clump of cells is more important than an actual living, breathing, human being. Unless that human being is brain dead.

I passed the physical test for the City of Minneapolis. I ran 1.5 miles in 12:16. This is miraculous for me. Now I get 2 days off work.

Your Vaccination leader,
DS

I bet they have a helluva band.

You Are 48% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist. You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

How Cynical Are You?

All around people lookin' half dead/ Walkin' on the sidewalk, hotter than a matchhead - The Lovin' Spoonful - "Summer in the City"

So it's not summer yet. It's still fucking hot.

So, in the past week I've:

Met Hizzonor R.T. Rybak and Sandra Day O'Connor

Attended my last Drinking Liberally for the forseeable future (Stupid thursday nights)

Actually umpired a full battery of games for an evening

and Started riding the buss almost full time.

My life is really quite boring. But the library is open for business and I've been quite helpful to most people. It's the crochety old folks that get to me. They like to complain that "kids today" have no respect. How am I supposed to respect people who walk towards the entrance of the library, look right at the sign that says "Entrance Only," keep walking towards the entrance until I say "Sir (or, of course, Ma'am), the exit is over there. This is an entrance only," and then complain and keep trying to walk out the entrance?

I believe that old people know they could die any minute, so they don't care much about following the rules. Which I sort of understand, but I still don't condone being incredibly rude just because things don't go your way. Didn't you people survive the Depression without complaining? Is it so hard to use the exit like everyone else? Even the gangbangers listen when I point them to the exit.

I lose almost an hour from each day because I ride the bus, so posting has become much more difficult. If I'm choosing between sex and posting, 9 times out of 10 I'm going with the sex. But the Affiliate is gone tonight, so here I am!

It's been a Gin and Tonic week, so I'm off to make it a Gin and Tonic night.

Your Bombay Sapphire leader,
DS

The Minneapolis Central Public Library opens today at 10:00 am.

That is all.

Well it's been ten years and a thousand tears/ And look at the mess I'm in/ A broken nose and a broken heart,/ An empty bottle of gin - Social Distortion - "Ball and Chain"

I've been umpiring youth softball/baseball for 13 years. There is no greater hell than to have an experienced umpire offciate a game of 9-10 year-olds. I feel like hitting myself with my own car. Which would be a great feat.

Also, I was self-conscious the whole time because it looks like I have track marks on my arms. The damn nurse who took my blood yeasterday fucked up big time. That's twice in a row I've had bad luck with blood-taking. I think I'm done with that for now.

Zacharias Moussoaui has decided that, well he isn't guilty after all, now that he got life in prison. Can anyone still tell me this guy didn't really want the death penalty, and that not killing him was the worse punishment? Fuck him. He'll be killed in prison, and we'll try the guy who does it. That's how things work in this country. Because we're basically good people.

Your Batter Up leader,
DS

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

He was singin' on his knees/ An angry mob trailed along/ They shot my brother dead/ Because he hated what was wrong - Simon & Garfunkle - "He Was My Brother"

I'm sitting down to write with my first glass of scotch in over a month. It's good to be back.

Apparently I have allergies. And when I find out who gave them to me, they're dead!!!

No. Because biology says it was Mom and Dad who gave me my allergies, and I swore off patricide many years ago.

Also, dispite the lyrics above, Brother is just fine. He's in New York City, but he's still OK. I hope.

I've moved to days at work until further notice, which should be cool. I made the horrible mistake of boarding a dog on the week I switched my sleeping schedule, so I'm still getting no sleep, even with the Ambien. Also, the Hillock is pissed. He wants no part of Dog, who loves everything on Earth.

Now that I think of it, maybe I'm allergic to the Dog. Oh well. She's just too sweet to turn away. It's only a week.

Oh yeas: The Minneapolis Downtown Library Opens May 20. There's a party with free food from 10AM to 6PM. All are invited. If you're a homeless person or a gang-banger, this is the one day we probably won't kick you out, providing you don't cause trouble. So take advantage.

I'm thinking of moving to Blogger so I keep a real blogroll and give more credit to the folks I read. So much for my I'm Not A Blogger post.

Who said I was consistent?

Your Still Not A Blogger (Yet) leader,
DS

The Ardent Atheist The results are in, and it appears that you have scored 79%...

You are an atheist, pure and simple. You think God is just one big lie, and consider religious people to be both annoying and beneath you. Ardent atheists will argue tooth and claw for their position, and have no truck with people that won't listen. You think being an atheist is the only way to lead an honest life, and see no reason to accept the pleas of faith. Ardent atheists are the backbone of atheism. Be proud.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 83% on pentagrams

Link: The Atheist Test written by chi_the_cynic on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test